Redeeming Halloween

To trick or to treat - the age old question around Halloween right? NO... if like me you grew up in the the church you probably have heard "Halloween is the devils night, and thou shalt have nothing to do with it".  So the question really is " to trick or treat" or "to hid in the basement with the lights out hoping no one will knock on my door asking for candy".

I have heard all the historical facts or fiction of Halloween,  it's symbolism, and many a story of what people used to do on Halloween.  I have read the tracts, the warnings and the scary tales of demonic prowess that seem to prevail in halloween'ology.  The fact remains that Halloween is still a  huge tension for many christians.   With a past so dark and devilish as it is for Halloween, it would seem that associating with such ghosts and ghouls may actually turn you into one. Right?

Here's my take on Halloween!  Sure... it has some icky roots! Sure, there are many a people out there who choose to do odd, horrible or strange things in the name of Halloween, and sure, there are many scary costumes, ideas and images that prevail.  My question is, why is hiding the right answer to this?  As carriers of the Holy Spirit - WHO is GOD - WHO might I add, is bigger than anything the devil himself could even conjure on Halloween Night - shouldn't we be out there being light instead of hiding?

Now before I go any further - I am NOT for going out and telling everyone on Halloween they are going to the very hell they are dressing up as if they don't accept Jesus! I am NOT for handing out tracks instead of candy and I am not for preaching on Halloween, to be truthful, I'm not even for doing an alternative harvest party.  So what does being light look like if I can't hand out tracks you ask? Great question!

My hang ups with aggressive outreach to the hellbent attendees of Halloween is that we haven't earned the right to be heard in their lives - so we appear, well - crazy to them.  What is our truth to them when we won't give them the time of day any other day of the year? Tracks, have been effective randomly - but again, how much harder is it for them if they have no one to answer their questions, or show them what true love looks like? It is arms length evangelism that is ineffective, maybe even damaging and serves more to make us feel holy, then help people actually encounter the true love and grace of Jesus.  Has God used these means before - of course - even Paul said that if Jesus was being preached by "whatever means", it was a good thing. Doesn't mean it's best!

In a nutshell, to redeem Halloween, I think we need to do the following:
1) Stop fearing Halloween - OUR GOD IS BIGGER
2) Stop making those who participate in Halloween our ENEMY - Instead, why not join them, get to know them,  offer to have them over to your place for dinner and invest relationship! Why not show them what true love and acceptance look like?
3) Find ways to let your light shine -without ever once mentioning Jesus, their destiny in Hell or some other guilt trip - instead let your light shine through kindness, listening and true genuine relationship with people God cares IMMENSELY about - overlooking the halloween or other petty distractions we get all bent out of shape about. Let relationship grow, and THEY, seeing your good works, will ask you about this strange behavior and open their hearts to you for you to share your faith with them.

I dare you this Halloween to bundle up little bags of candy, attach a card to them that says "For all the years you have given out candy on Halloween, THANK YOU" Put your name and address on the back if you like! Then go trick or treating, but instead of taking candy - give yours!  This simple act of kindness will surprise EVERY house, and it will open doors in your neighbourhood.  I dare you to join up with a neighbour and go trick or treating with them - buy them a coffee to stay warm and ask them questions about themselves the whole way, listening intently to discover the Gem that God adores so much. I dare you to look at halloween as an opportunity to serve, and to meet new people instead of an occasion you must fight, and protest.  Tell me how it goes for you - I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

This year, I'm dressing up, and participating with my church in TRICK or EAT - An event that collects non-perishable food items along trick or treat routes to raise food and funds for our local food bank.  You can help to, just check out TRICK or EAT - help the BRANTFORD, ONTARIO chapter raise money, or organize your own event! It's time to Redeem Halloween!

Jesus in a Bowl of Oatmeal?

It wasn't a typical Monday morning! My son wasn't feeling great; sick most of the weekend with a cold, lacking sleep from coughing and generally feeling poopy - I agreed to let him stay home from school to get some rest.  I decided to be a good mom and make him a hearty breakfast to help him mend - what could be better than stick to your ribs oatmeal right!

As I boiled the water, my mind began to wander to Deuteronomy 6:7-9 - Where God describes the best method for passing on God's decrees to the next generation, he says " Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates".  Sadly, in that list I didn't find a well timed lecture, or a scheduled bible lesson or devotional. Instead, God seemed to be saying that discussion about his decrees were best brought to life while going through ordinary life!  I began to ask God what that could look like today, right now with my son home sick - could this be true today?  Suddenly the revelation hit me - YES... I began to see how I could talk about Jesus because of a bowl of oatmeal.

My son wandered into the kitchen and asked if he could pour the oatmeal into the boiling water - of course he could!  Then I looked at him and said, "You know... making oatmeal makes me think about Jesus", he looked at me curiously, "It does mom?? Why oatmeal?" he asked.  I said, well, you see, it's like we are the oatmeal, dry and flat and lifeless and Jesus is the water.  The more time we spend with Jesus, the more we take on his character.  Eventually, you can't differentiate the oatmeal from the water.  Jesus, wants to fill us up with himself, so that we can bring life (and in this case nourishment) to others!  He looked at me and said "Hey, you're right.. that's really cool mom, I'm gonna remember that next time I eat oatmeal".

The cool thing was, our God conversation didn't end there, it had only begun, and we shared, and chatted about God things as we ate! I guess it's true, you really can find Jesus, in a bowl of oatmeal!

Don't Wait... Initiate!

I had explained it many times, the tools were provided, the way was all but paved and yet my young leader sat there.  He talked passionately about all his good intentions, the vision, the potential outcome and the amazing opportunity we had and seemed to have a solid grasp on what was to be done, but his legs didn't move.

Has this scenario ever frustrated you?   I have seen many a good idea die at the hands of "ya but" and even more slaughtered by the promise of "I'll do it tomorrow".  How do we move ourselves, or those we lead from a place of information to motivation? How do we steer their passion towards action? Can we?  As someone with the opposite problem (i.e. I initiate too easily and need to learn to use the brake pedal) I have often found myself in a place of judging others by their lack of initiative when I see that something could be done simply to make things better.  That's my problem! However there are other things I have learned along the way also, when it comes to initiative.  What do you think ?
     1) Initiative is a state of mind - not an ability or skill set: Those with initiative SEE that things are possible, and BELIEVE that they have access to the tools, people and resources to get it started.  It isn't that the person can do it all, but that they see that it is possible.  This attitude is KEY to starting anything.  If you don't believe it's possible, and if you don't believe it could start with you - it never will.
     2) You can't "help" someone have initiative: It is an internal characteristic that a person chooses to develop in his/herself... or not.  Sure you can motivate, inspire, model and encourage, but ultimately the choice to start remains within the individual.
     3) The ladder of success stands on the legs of initiative and perseverance:  The ability to start and the ability to keep going. Both of these skills harness the power of vision, attitude and belief.

So how do we cultivate initiative in our kids as parents or teachers?  This is what I have come up with - do you have other ideas?
1) Reward their initiative by partnering with them towards success - this doesn't mean taking it over and making it succeed, it means coming along side, letting them work it, guiding, facilitating and helping THEM make it a win!  This builds confidence and willingness to risk again!
2) Tell stories, show media clippings and share you tube videos of other kids/youth taking something they are passionate about and firing up an idea to do something about it! Watch for the things your kids get passionate or fired up or angry about in the world, and ask them for their ideas in solving it! Believe that they can accomplish what they choose to start! Believe in them!
3) Model it, by thinking out loud so your kids can hear!  When faced with a problem - troubleshoot it out loud (involve them in your decision making).  When bothered by injustice, share your brainstorm of what a better world would look like and what your first step will be in making it happen (then do it).  When challenged by your own personal weaknesses, ask them for accountability (using discretion of course) and take steps towards change that are transparent and allow them to see your steps and your start (and sometimes your start over).

Sadly, as much as I would wish this trait on everyone, I find it in very few.  But those who do have it, those who refuse to allow obstacles to tell them no - they will succeed because they are willing to do today, what others put off until tomorrow so that they can enjoy tomorrow, what others only dream of!

What do you need to START? Do it now....

Good character Doesn't Happen By Accident!

I am now nearly a parent to two teenagers, their personalities are all their own, and they articulate how they feel and what they think well.  They have habits, routines and character that has been developed over the last  12-14 years and a picture of who they are (autonomous of us as parents) is beginning to emerge.  With the self discovery of my children, comes the sobering realization  of things we "missed" teaching them, or teaching them well when they were younger.  I have never claimed to be a perfect parent, but there are things I see now, that I wish I could go back and be more intentional about in their training. The things they caught, they caught because we were consistent and intentional about communicating, demonstrating and building understanding of those things. The things we "missed", I guess we assumed they would just catch because we did them or because we nagged them so often! After all a good role model goes a long way right?  Well, it helps of course, but I have realized that in order to develop character and solid habits in our children, we must intentionally focus on engaging their thinking.  Simply dictating what is to be done, or instructing them on the process does not give them understanding, it gives them information.  Throwing the ball back into their court as 12 and 14 year olds is now my strategy - helping them to become aware of their own motivations and thinking processes. Allowing them to grapple with the gravity of their choices and what the ripple affect can be in their future. Walking with them as they learn to navigate the world from the perspective that THEY are the ones responsible for how things turn out, not mom or dad! Thankfully, my kids have good character, and we have a good relationship, so I still have a voice in their lives with which to intentionally address those areas that we built poorly in them.  I am grateful that I took the time to look at what we have been intentional about, and what we have not! Good character doesn't happen by accident, it happens by intention, and submission to God.

Information vs the AHA Moment!

As adults we have tons of "information" that we want to cram into our kids heads - we don't want them to make the same mistakes as we have right?  The interesting thing is.. information doesn't stick!

Anyone who has worked in kids ministry knows that we need to get creative when it comes to helping our kids retain the things we teach them, but sometimes I think we come at it the wrong way.

This past week, I had the pleasure of working with 12 young leaders using KIDLEAD Curriculum.  We explored the topics of  Integrity, Confidence, Recruiting and Vision.  The curriculum is designed in such a way that the young leaders "discover, and experience" the things they are learning.  The activity is followed by socratic questions that help them explore the impact of what they just experienced and how it relates to leadership and the real world - the insight that they get from this process is increased exponentially as a result!  In life, in kids ministry and in parenting it is valuable for us to remember that our children are going to benefit from experiencing their learning, vs just hearing about it.  Our parenting culture in North America says "Protect your children from fear, from hurt, from exclusion, from failure - it might damage their self esteem".. the truth of the matter is,  self esteem is built on experience, failure and the need to persist and try again.  If you want your child to learn, no matter the context - experience is going to teach them much more than just information, so ask God how you can take the choices your child makes, and lead them to discover the AHA moments! It will likely start with a  question, and end with a hug! 

Young Leaders Flourish if given the space to lead!

I am having a fun week at Kidlead Leadership camp! Often camp is draining, exhausting and by the end of the week you are short on patience, and at the end of your emotional rope! But Kidlead camp is different.  Today I tweeted:

"Day 1 of @KidLead Camp was AWESOME! - When you have 12 young leaders in a room the air is electric and the future is suddenly VERY BRIGHT!"  (You can follow me on twitter here )

I came home feeling like I was part of team that could conquer the world!  These kids are hungry to learn, developing their critical thinking skills and desiring to contribute, innovate and solve problems and challenges! They are learning what it means to be a compassionate and ethical leader, and they are learning by doing!

Watch out world, because Kidlead is unleashing passionate and well trained young leaders who could very well turn our world on it's ear!  These young leaders will do more before they are 20 years old than you ever thought possible! They will bring desperately needed change, with sound leadership principles and years of experience guiding them! 

Do you know a young leader that you want to invest in? There is one more chance this summer to do that!  We have spaces left in our Aug 29-Sept 2nd Kidlead Camp at Bark Lake ! Email me at nicki@kidlead.com for more info, or to register your young leader!

Interested in learning more about the KidLead Curriculum or how to become a certified trainer? Visit our website!  It's a great time to be a part of a Leadership Revolution!

Who's Image?

Later they sent some of the Pharisees and Herodians to Jesus to catch him in his words. ¹⁴ They came to him and said, “Teacher, we know that you are a man of integrity. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right to pay the imperial tax^[b] to Caesar or not? ¹⁵ Should we pay or shouldn’t we?”   But Jesus knew their hypocrisy. “Why are you trying to trap me?” he asked. “Bring me a denarius and let me look at it.” ¹⁶ They brought the coin, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”
   “Caesar’s,” they replied.
 ¹⁷ Then Jesus said to them, “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.”   And they were amazed at him.  (Mark 12:13-17) NIV
 I was listening to Ravi Zacharius this week and he referenced this story!  The pharisees were trying to trick him, so they asked him questions in hope of trapping him.  Jesus in his wisdom, and discernment asked those who questioned him, a question (a good tool for evangelism by the way).  If they had truly been seeking an answer to their question, the next logical question after Jesus' responded to them "Give back to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's" would have been, "Well, what do you consider to be "God's"?".

What do you suppose Jesus would have answered?

Ravi went on to share, that Jesus associated the image of Caesar on the coin as proof that the money was due to Caesar, what then what was due to God?  Had the Pharisees pursued this question, they would have found the solution to a lot of things, but they were not seeking, they were trapping, so they missed out on a conversation that could have been. What would the answer have been? What was "God's"?.  Ravi suggested that Jesus would have answered "that which bears the image of God, is God's".  Who or what is that??

US... of course why hadn't I thought of that.  The material things may have belonged to Caesar, but our whole self - who we are - is designed in the image of God.  Jesus desires that we give back to God, that which is made in his image!  Give to Caesar what is in his image, and give to God what is in his!

I loved this idea, and I realized that I had never really followed on that conversation beyond what was written in scripture, never questioned how it could have been different had those who questioned Jesus truly been seeking - I thought this was merely a story about how discerning Jesus was - but the layers go deeper and deeper as with all scripture.

As I have pondered this notion, I have been reminded how important it is that we have our identity defined correctly! WHO are we? We are the image of the most high God, created, valued and placed on this earth with intention, design and purpose.

Are we willing to give to God, what is his?

I would encourage you to check out Ravi's website at http://www.rzim.org/ , it will deepen your faith in ways you can't even imagine!